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Happy Trails is the 7th episode of Season Two of Ally McBeal.


The attorneys react when Judge Boyle suddenly drops dead in a courtroom. A woman with orange-colored skin sues her employer for wrongful termination. Elaine urges Ally to give a persistent and unwanted suitor "the dump." More bad luck besets Stefan the frog.


Cage makes his way inside a unisex stall where Fish sits on a toilet. He announces his decision to give Nelle a first kiss, but admits he is riddled with self-doubt, as Ling has placed so much importance on the event. Fish proceeds to describe how one gives the perfect kiss. Unbeknownst to him, Nelle and Elaine are eavesdropping.

A man named Ross Fitzsimmons enters the firm holding a bouquet of flowers. Ally reacts with horror when she sees Ross and ducks out of sight. She quickly explains to Elaine that she went out with Ross the previous evening and suffered through the date. Elaine tells Ross that Ally dropped dead, however, Ross is not a complete idiot, and he quickly sees through the lie. Not to be outdone, Elaine plants a kiss on Ally’s lips, hoping it will convince Ross that Ally is really a lesbian. Despite this, Ally reluctantly agrees to go out on yet another date with Ross.

Nelle stops by Cage’s office to check on Stefan the frog’s condition. Cage accuses her of having assaulted the luckless amphibian with a file folder. He picks up a file to demonstrate and unfortunately sends Stephan tumbling out a window in the process. Luckily, the animal lands on a ledge. Meanwhile, Billy and Georgia meet with Joanne Poole, a woman with orange-colored skin. Joanne explains that many different things might be responsible for her condition, such as consuming too many carrots, or a genetic disposition. Whatever the cause, Joanne wishes to sue her employer, who dismissed her for being orange.

Ling devises a makeshift rescue device for Stephan the frog by attaching some string to a small box. The frog regains consciousness and hops inside the box.

Ross again drops by the firm, bringing with him an itinerary for the date. Ally imagines herself running away, a la the Road Runner. Unfortunately, Renee has been strong-armed into joining Ally on the date.

In court, Billy argues that his client and emphasizes that the law makes no distinction what color a person’s skin is. Attorney Kevin Spicer argues that the case is not covered by the scope of civil rights. Judge Happy Boyle instructs Joanne to step forward so he can examine her teeth.

Nelle invites Cage and her colleagues out to dinner to celebrate Stephan’s rescue. Cage asks if he can bring Stephan along. Though frustrated, Nelle nonetheless approves.

Elaine encourages Ally to be more aggressive when dealing with Ross. She believes that only a "straight hard dump" will get the message across.

While announcing his decision in the Joanne Poole case, Judge Boyle suddenly collapses, dropping his head and dies. The attorneys in Ally’s office are all naturally shocked by the news. Fish, Ling, Nelle and Cage receive word as they enjoy a meal at a Chinese restaurant. Cage asks Ling to inform the Chinese waiter to feed Stephan some lettuce and then return him to the table. Ling speaks to the waiter in Chinese. Later, Cage asks Ling to get the waiter to return Stephan to the table. Ling turns to the waiter only to hear that Stephan was served to them. Outraged, Cage addresses his fellow patrons. He gives a brief synopsis of the many tragedies that have befallen the amphibian and ends by saying that, on that night, he ate the frog. The patrons are at first confused and they then applaud politely.

Ally and Renee’s date with Ross turns out to be even worse than they imagined. Luckily, word of the Happy Boyle tragedy reaches them, and they quickly flee.

Ross again returns to the firm. But this time, Elaine pulls him aside. She tells him to lift his knee, hop on one foot, and blow a whistle all at the same time. Ross curiously does as he is told. Elaine then asks Ross if he thinks an attractive woman like Ally would settle for a dumpy-looking man who hops around blowing a whistle. Feeling tricked, Ross exits.

Nelle approaches Cage about the death of his frog. She tells him that she didn’t find Stephan at all tasty. She describes it as tasting "a little tough" and Cage laughs in response. Ally walks into his office, and listens as Cage recounts Stephan’s life. She, too, begins to laugh along with him. Cage however suddenly stops laughing, disgusted with the world. Ally tells Renee that, perhaps, it is the John Cages and the Happy Boyles of the world the ones who are extremely odd who are the people to be treasured in life.

Despite his earlier humiliation, Ross returns to the offices looking for Ally. Finally growing fed up, Ally tells Ross she never wants to see him again. But Ross bumps into Joanne in the corridors and a chance at romance begins anew.

The attorneys gather at a church for Happy Boyle’s funeral. Billy suddenly rises and walks to the podium. He tells the crowd that it would make the Judge happy if they showed him their teeth. The congregation smile, and some of the elderly remove their false teeth and hold them overhead in tribute to the odd judge.

Cage walks Nelle to her townhouse. When they arrive at the front stairs, Nelle holds a look. Cage grows nervous, and his nose begins whistling. Nelle admits she is tired of waiting. She leans in and gives him a kiss.


Full transcript can be found here.


List of music in the episode can be found here.


Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal
Courtney Thorne-Smith as Georgia Thomas
Greg Germann as Richard Fish
Lisa Nicole Carson as Renée Raddick
Jane Krakowski as Elaine Vassal
Vonda Shepard as Herself
with Peter MacNicol as John Cage
and Gil Bellows as Billy Thomas

Special Appearances By

Rob Schneider as Ross Fitzsimmons
Dyan Cannon as Whipper Cone

Recurring cast

Portia de Rossi as Nelle Porter
Lucy Liu as Ling Woo

Guest starring

Jennifer Holliday as Lisa Knowles
Phil Leeds as Judge Dennis 'Happy' Boyle
Melanie Chartoff as Joanne Poole
John Fleck as Attorney Spicer
Louis Giambalvo as Harold Jordan