AllyHow did I get to be such a mess, so soon in my life?
BillyYou've always been ahead of your time

One Hundred Tears Away is the 5th episode of Season One of Ally McBeal.


In a fight over who should get the last package of potato chips in a supermarket, Ally is provoked into an act which gets her arrested for assault and shoplifting.



Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal
Courtney Thorne-Smith as Georgia Thomas
Greg Germann as Richard Fish
Lisa Nicole Carson as Renée Raddick
Jane Krakowski as Elaine Vassal
and Gil Bellows as Billy Thomas

Special Appearances By

Željko Ivanek as Judge Marshal Pink
Dyan Cannon as Whipper Cone

Guest starring

Phil Leeds as Judge Dennis 'Happy' Boyle
Keene Curtis as Judge Johnson Hawk
Vonda Shepard as Herself
Carol Locatell as Judge Henrietta Fullem
Audrie Neenan as Mrs. Clarkson


At a supermarket, Ally is arrested for tripping a woman after getting into an argument over potato chips. When Renee bails Ally out, they learn shoplifting charges have been added to the assault claim, because a store security camera recorded Ally placing a tube of contraceptive jelly in her pocket. Renee asks Ally why she was buying the jelly, but Ally won't talk. The next morning, Billy represents Ally in court. Renee is the D. A. Judge Boyle grants a one-year continuance, with charges to be dropped if Ally stays clean. Back at the office, Elaine announces she has sold her "face bra" invention and asks Ally to do the patent work. Fish interrupts to announce that Boyle has reported Ally to the Bar Association and her license to practice law has been suspended.

At the Bar Association, Judge Pink calls for a hearing to investigate Ally's emotional stability. Back at the office, Elaine reports she has been subpoenaed to testify. Ally realizes Judge Pink knows her old nemesis, Jack Billings...and really begins to worry. At home that evening, Renee still wants to know about the contraceptive and who Ally was planning to sleep with. Ally says she was buying it just in case someone like Omar Sharif, in "Funny Girl," was about to knock on her door. At the hearing the next day, the supermarket lady recounts her fight with Ally. Later, Fish asks Billy if Ally is feeling all right, noting that Ronald Cheanie expressed some doubts when he pulled his business from their firm. Renee suggests Ally leave the law firm if working with Billy again is too hard. But Ally insists she is fine.

The next day, at the hearing, Elaine admits she once told someone that Ally seemed to be near a breakdown. Afterward, Elaine tells Ally that Whipper Cone, Fish's girlfriend, was the person she told this to. Ally confronts Whipper, who says that, as a judge, it is her job to report inklings of an attorney's instability. Later, Ally takes the stand. She starts to defend herself, but winds up lashing out angrily at the panel. Afterward, Billy chastises Ally... and admits he too is curious about the contraceptive. Ally explains it was a sort of "lottery ticket" in case her romantic luck suddenly changed.

The next day, Whipper asks Judge Boyle what he thinks of Ally. He says she may indeed be too emotional. At the hearing, Ally apologizes for her outburst the day before. Whipper enters and apologizes for reporting Ally, saying that when men are passionate, they are seen as strong and impassioned... but when women get passionate about something, they are perceived as being weak and emotional. Renee makes a heartfelt plea for Ally... and Billy says Ally's emotions are one of her great strengths. Finally, in an effort to avoid more inquiries, the board votes not to suspend Ally's license. Ally and her friends celebrate at the bar. In a moment alone, Ally thanks Billy for his help. It is not until later, walking home alone, that Ally finally allows herself to cry over the events of the past few days.


look what they've done to my song, ma (cover) | VONDA SHEPARD
walk away renee (cover) | VONDA SHEPARD
renée and ally talk at the bar
mischief & control | VONDA SHEPARD
i wanna love him so bad (cover) | VONDA SHEPARD
the firm celebrates at the bar
100 tears away | VONDA SHEPARD
ally walks home
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