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The Green Monster is the 21st episode of Season Two of Ally McBeal.


Ally hires a male escort in hopes of making Greg jealous; Fish and Cage represent a woman who destroyed her husband’s most cherished possessions after she discovered he was having an affair; Billy objects to Georgia’s revealing attire.


Fish and Cage represent Bonnie Mannix, who is suing her estranged husband for emotional distress. The suit is a counterclaim; Bonnie’s husband, Michael, is suing for malicious destruction of property. Bonnie, it turns out, destroyed some of her husband’s most cherished possessions after she discovered him cheating. Judge Walsh dismisses the counterclaim but allows Michael’s suit to proceed.

Billy notices some male employees looking up toward the balcony area. He follows their gaze… and sees Georgia standing by the library, clad in a revealing dress. Billy confronts his wife about the attire. Georgia explains that it is Ling’s creation. When Billy demands that she remove it, Georgia begins pealing it off where they stand. Later, Georgia tells Billy that if Cage can go through a change, then so can she.

Ling cannot help but notice Ally’s preoccupation with singing. She correctly concludes it has something to do with Greg Butters. Ling reveals that she owns an escort service… and suggests to Ally that she hire a male escort so she can make Greg jealous. Later, Ally tells Renee that Ling’s plan made sense.

In court, Michael Mannix describes how his wife hoisted his grand piano into the air using a construction crane. As he watched, Bonnie dropped the piano onto his beloved Porsche, thereby destroying the two things in life he held closest to his heart. During cross-examination, Michael admits that his wife committed the act shortly after he returned home from a liaison with another woman.

Ling introduces Ally to Kevin Wyatt, a handsome male escort. Kevin suggests it might be best if Greg sees them both kissing. This triggers a fantasy in which Ally engulfs Kevin’s head completely. She tells Kevin she "might be able to fake it."

Renee and Ally decide to throw Cage a birthday party. Even though his 35th birthday has past, it was never celebrated. At first, Cage vehemently objects to the idea. But Renee explains that he will not be the center of attention, as the entire scheme is a pretext designed to bring Ally and Greg together in a public setting. Eventually, Cage approves the idea.

Georgia further raises Greg’s ire when she tries on another of Ling’s dresses.

Cage pushes Bonnie to settle out of court, but she rejects the idea outright.

Renee convinces Greg to attend Cage’s birthday party, even though he hardly knows the man. Later, Renee tells Ally that Greg is going to the party.

Ally, Kevin, Billy, Georgia and Ling gather at the bar. Unfortunately, Cage is still at the office working on Bonnie’s case. Cage convinces Bonnie that it is in her best interest to meet with Michael to discuss a settlement.

Greg arrives at the bar with his beautiful date, Kimba. Even Kevin voices his approval regarding Kimba’s good looks. As the evening wears on, it becomes more and more apparent that Greg and Kimba are enjoying themselves. Thinking quickly, Kevin convinces Ally to join him onstage. The pair sing a beautiful version of All I Have To Do Is Dream. The ploy works; Ling notices a distinct change in Greg, as if a nerve has been struck. Greg retaliates by bringing Kimba onstage. The crowd responds when they sing Your Precious Love. Ally forces smile onto her face.

Greg accuses Ally of luring him to the bar. He also notes Cage’s absence. A short time later, Georgia takes the stage, but her singing is so poor that the entire audience joins in for the sole purpose of drowning out her voice. Later, Greg asks Ally out for a cup of coffee. Ally concludes that, perhaps, jealously does have its rewards after all.

Despite Cage’s best efforts, Bonnie and Michael are unable to reach an out of court settlement.

Kevin drops by Ally’s office to check on how things worked out with Greg. Ally admits to Kevin that she is attracted to him. Kevin counters that it is against policy to date clients. But he does suggest the possibility of another date-for-hire. Ally kisses Kevin to "test the merchandise."

The jury is swayed by Cage’s closing argument. Though it rules in favor of Michael Mannix, it only orders damages in the amount of thirty-five cents.

Georgia tells Billy that her change in attire may be an attempt to keep from becoming boring. Billy assures her she is far from boring… and promises to do a better job of reminding her that such is the case.


Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal
Courtney Thorne-Smith as Georgia Thomas
Greg Germann as Richard Fish
Lisa Nicole Carson as Renée Raddick
Jane Krakowski as Elaine Vassal
Vonda Shepard as Herself
Portia de Rossi as Nelle Porter
Lucy Liu as Ling Woo
with Peter MacNicol as John Cage
and Gil Bellows as Billy Thomas

Special Appearance By

Jesse L. Martin as Dr. Greg Butters

Guest starring

Antonio Sabato Jr. as Kevin Wyatt
Christine Estabrook as Bonnie Mannix
Albert Hall as Judge Seymore Walsh
Sara Botsford as Attorney Post
Denis Arndt as Michael Mannix

Songs Performed or Played in this episode